Arts&Culture

FIFTY SHADES FREED (not reviewed)

FIFTY SHADES FREED (not reviewed)

Whip out your whips and flog out your floggers because Fifty Shades Freed, the final film in the supposedly thirst-quenching Fifty Shades franchise, has landed in theaters with a whopping 13% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Entertainment Weekly's Chris Nashawaty compared the film to 1990's erotic thrillers and says that Fifty Shades Freed is even worse because it is pretentious.

The plot, which drifts from scene to scene, casually inserting kidnappings and auto chases among the lavish vacations and sexy romps, involves Anastasia's former boss, Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson), seeking revenge on the recently married couple.

If you hate the franchise, you will be happy to know that this is the last film of the series.

Fifty Shades Freed is in cinemas now. From the beginning, we are plunged into a sensual sartorial experience.

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You'd think such a narrative tool wouldn't be necessary for its photogenic hero, a handsome robot who mindlessly blurts commands to Ana like a bored, broken record - "I don't want a baby because you will love it more than me!" And a whole lot of other equipment that looked equal-part terrifying and baffling to the rest of us.

Cheesy dialogue - which could have been lifted straight from the '80s soap Dallas - and shaky acting ensues, with Steele gazing at Grey's private jet and harping 'Do you own that?' to which her new hubby replies 'No.

Christian Grey and Ana Steele get hitched.

. At one topless beach, Ana wants to join the other women without tops, but Christian won't allow it. Harden returns as Christian's mother Grace who believes in her son and is supportive when things go a little awry. She exchanges her freedom for this fantasy life of preposterous wealth. She is of course playfully and consensually punished after (they now have safe words!), before they are dragged back to Seattle because the bad boss set off a bomb in Grey Headquarters. This is a wise move, yet there's no mention of police involvement. What is new in the films is the insecurities Christian can no longer hide from. Yet, in his defense, he has become enamoured rather than threatened by Ana's increased ability to seize control of a room or a conversation.

Speaking to ET, she said: "I tried to do a lot of negotiating on a lot of different things". Christian is forced to reveal to Ana that Hyde appears to be obsessed with the Grey family and has been targeting them. The fact that Jamie Dornan looks like a ripped Adonis is just an added bonus! Though the sex scenes are boringly vanilla, leads Dakota Johnson (A Bigger Splash) and Jamie Dornan (AnthropoId) are incredibly fun to watch as they jockey for position, domestically or otherwise.

A kidnap plot involving co-star Rita Ora is thrown into the mix, along with a heart pounding auto chase with Steele behind the wheel of Mr Grey's Audi muscle vehicle. Fifty Shades Freed is certainly slicker than those carnal cheapies. Possible there could be another "Fifty Shades" film?


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